Canada x Depressed!Reader: Life Letters (Request)

A/N: [M/N]= Middle Name [L/N]= Last name. WARNING: There is mention of suicide and cutting, so be careful!

Introduction

  Your invisible friend. Alfred's lookalike. Shy boy. Whatever they called him, you knew exactly who they were referring to. Ever since seeing him in the hallways, you had known him simply as "Matthew".

  You never forgot about him, and the two of you always stuck together. When you got bullied, he was there. When nobody cared about him, you were there. It was a mutual give-and-take. At first you thought he'd be just like everyone else. You were sure he'd leave after getting to know you.

  He didn't. And he remained your best friend.
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Your POV

  Walking to school for another day of difficult classes, aggressive classmates, and loneliness. This was my life. There was rarely a good day anymore. Every hour blurred into the next.

  There was nothing I wanted to do more than to sleep, take a break, and feel alive. Whether it be a blade or video gaming I tried to get away.

  I walked into class just in time, the teacher giving me "the look" (which is a fancy way for saying he stared at me for almost 45 seconds straight). He seemingly always gave me this critical look for walking in. I was beginning to think it wasn't just him warning me as a teacher.

  "Well, class, welcome back. Hope you had a good Monday.." and the teacher went into something about an upcoming project.

  "[Y/N], aren't yo-you listening to the teacher?" Matthew asked after watching me zone out. His voice brought me instantly to attention.

  "What? Oh, yeah." I said a bit too loudly.

  "Miss [L/N], would you care to remind the class what the project is about?" the teacher asked me. I stared at his face, first trying to register what he was asking. Then my face got hot with embarrassment and the class laughed.

  "Just as I thought. Next time pay attention or you'll sit in the front." he went back to talking.

  It turned out to be a boring project about the constitution and how it was ratified. The only interesting part was that it was a partner project. I knew exactly who I was going to choose for my partner.

  Walking over to his desk, I set my books down own Matthew's table. His table partner had walked off to join a girl named Elizabeta. Matthew had been drawing a picture of his pet polar bear while the teacher was talking.

  He looked up, his face warming at the sight of me.

  "So, we partners Mattie?"

  "O-of course. Go ahead!"

  I plopped down in the seat next to him, taking out a sheet of paper for ideas.

  "So, what do you think we should write about? I was thinking we could give the advantages and disadvantages of both, like kinda what the federalists and antifederalists thought would happen."

  "Yeah, and maybe we co-could write about how it actually tu-turned out?"

  "That sounds awesome."

  We spent the next hour of class just writing the ideas down. The teacher watched us with a smile- I had always tried very hard, and though he was hard on me, he thought that I was a star student.

  "So, see you after school so we can work on this?"

  "That would be wonderful."

  We both split ways as the day continued. The worst part about my schedule was that I only saw him once a day. For two years we had almost every class together, but like Romeo and Juliet, life decided it would be funny to split us apart.

  The light and confidence I'd had just a few minutes ago vanished and left me feeling empty.
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  After school I rushed to put everything away but my homework, do my chores, and avoid the teasing my siblings would do to me. I had three of them, two twin brothers and a third odd one. They were not only disgusting but liked to make fun of me.

  I was a meager 5"3 and I didn't have very much muscle to me. I could barely lift a desk! My brothers were the lucky ones, inheriting their dad's muscles and height. My mother was tiny like me. Good for me that Matthew didn't tease me a lot for it.

  Running down the street, I took a turn and left the neighborhood. I reacher Matthew's house in a matter of minutes. I straightened my hoodie as I knocked on the door. There was the sound of loud footsteps, no doubt Alfred's, and then the door swung open.

  "He-llooo, [Y/N]. Come to see my nerd brother?"

  "You keep that mouth in check, Alfred!" his dad, Arthur, yelled. I giggled and Alfred grumbled about the 'old man minding his own business' and 'freedom of speech'. He then yelled for Matthew.

  "Hey, Matthew! Your girlfriend is here to see you!" he yelled in a teasing voice. My face got red and I covered it to hide the blush.

  It was a coincidence, of Course Alfred didn't know of my affectionate feelings toward Matthew. Of course, 'affectionate feelings' is a light term. It was more of a heat-inducing-universe-stopping-word-quaking-when-I-looked-at-him kind of feeling than anything.

  Lighter footsteps followed at Matthew growled at Alfred with an equally red face. "Be-be quiet, Al."

  "Yeah, be quiet Al. At least he can get a girl to like him," I said with extra sass in my voice. Matthew had to cover his mouth to keep his laughing quiet for that one.

  "You're going to need some ice for that burn, Alfred," he mumbled from behind his sleeve.

  "Tch, whatever. Go study, you nerds."

  He had no room to talk, seeing as despite being in a grade higher than us, he was probably no smarter. Still, we walked straight up into Mattie's room.

  After awhile of us shooting a few more ideas, I heard a call from downstairs.

  "[Y/N], are you okay with eating what we have here tonight?" their father, Francis asked.

  "Of course, Mr. Bonnefoy."

  "Okay, dinner will be ready in ten minutes!"

  My mom didn't even care. She knew the parents, and our families were close. I'd been to this house at least once a week for almost two years now. To them I was just family.

  "So, uh, [Y/N]. How have you been with your.."

  "Depression?"

  "Yeah."

  "…. Fine."

  "Why the pause? Is.. Is something going on?" he asked, scooting closer.

  "No."

  "… I can tell you're lying."

  "No you can't, hush."

  "Come on! We-we have to talk about this."

  "…." I wasn't sure how to explain. "Things have been getting worse."

  Matthew wrapped his arms around me. His comforting embrace was enough to make me want to open up to him.

  "They're calling me names again. This time sticking notes on my locker."

  "Wh-what? [Y/N], I told you to tell me if that happened again. How lo-long has this gone on?"

  "About a week now."

  "A week?!"

  "Ma-Matthew, calm down."

  "Sorry, [Y/N]…." he said, clinging to me more. I clung back just as tightly.

  "I'll handle them tomorrow."
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Matthew's POV

  I woke up early, thinking about what I could do for [Y/N]. She had to get help. Those students were always finding ways to hurt her! I couldn't let them keep doing this. Eventually she was just going to kill herself.

  When we got into school I went straight to our Social Studies teacher. He was a bit harsh looking, but he watched out for her. If anyone would put their best effort into this, it would be him.

  "M.. Mister Carter?"

  "Hm?- Oh, Matthew! What brings you here- you don't have History today."

  "It's.. It's about [Y/N]."

  "… Sit. What's going on?"

  I sat down in the chair opposite of him and told him everything that had been going on. Everything.

  "Well… That certainly explains some things about her schooling. I will talk to them, thank you for telling me."

  "Thanks fo-for your help, Mister Carter."

  "Anytime, Matthew."

  I walked off and down the hall. Nobody knew that I liked her except for my idiot brother, who I'd caught flirting with her a few times until he got the hint that she couldn't care less about him.

  I stopped at the sound of shouting.

  "Come on, short stuff! Aren't you gonna fight back? Huh? Huh?"

  "N-No…" I recognized the voice immediately and rushed to the scene. There she was, [Y/N]. Laying on the ground with a black eye and kids surrounding her. There was also the school bully.

  "Hey! Get away from her right now!" I yelled with this confidence I'd never known I had. The bully's attention snapped to me as he let out a grin.

  "Oh look, it's your little boyfriend. Looks like he got here to get pummeled right beside you!"

  I snarled and walked right up to him. Even if I wasn't that strong, I still had to fight for her to be okay.

  I didn't get far and neither did the bully. Within the next minute there were three teachers, including Mr. Carter, who'd seen the whole thing while walking behind me.

  "You there, Romano, you're coming with me."

  "What?! What abo-"

  "I saw you. This is nobody's fault but yours. Now come on."

  It didn't take them long to grab him by the arm and take him away. I helped [Y/N] up, who had some bruising on her face. She looked pretty out of it.

  "Let's get you to the nurse, okay?" she could barely speak in response, probably still in shock.
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  "Whatever that boy did to her, she got a minor concussion. A fight, I assume?"

  "Yes..- But she didn't start i-it or anything!" I said, trying as hard as I could to defend her.

  "I doubt it, she probably couldn't even fight back!"

  "Will… She be okay?"

  "Yeah, just a few days home from school to get better and hopefully get rid of some of that bruising."

  I nodded, knowing that things wouldn't be as bad as I'd thought.
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  I visited her for the next few days, working on her homework from her classes and talking with her. Her depression was getting to a point where she didn't really want to do anything anymore.

  "Please, it's not that bad. Once you get better, we can start things again."

  "Get better? God, please no," she mumbled from under the sheets. "I don't want to live through this."

  "What did you just say?" I asked, suddenly feeling very uneasy by the things she was saying.

  "Matthew.. I.. I can't do this anymore. This-this bullying and my family and the work… It's too much."

  "Oh god, [Y/N], don't say that."

  "It's true, Mattie! And I bet you that nobody would want me here anyways. Maybe between this week I'm gone, I'll…"

  "Don't you dare." I whispered, pulling her close. "I- no- we need you."

  And that's where my plan started.
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  I'd told the entire class what had happened and what she was considering, and gave my plan.

  "We-we have to show her how important she is. How much we love ha-having her in the class.

  The teacher talked with us all about a project called LifeSaver. We would make a collage of things she liked and reasons she was a good student. For the three days we had the class that week, we sat and made posters and other valuable things that showed what she did for us.

  I made something special for her. Something that I wasn't going to show her in front of the class, but would still mean just as much.

  She came back with a weak smile on Monday of the next week. With the lights off, she came in and someone turned on the lights.

  'WELCOME BACK Star Student' was scrawled on a banner hanging from the ceiling. There were various stations with projects made by groups of four people, so a total of six posters sat around the room.

  She stared for a few second before getting the idea and her eyes widened.

  "Oh my gosh…" she whispered, covering her mouth. I waked up to her and took her hand, the teacher giving her a big and sincere smile.

  "Come on, silly, we didn't work on this for three days just for you to stare at it from the door."

  I walked her around to each station, every student giving her their own personal messages. They came from students she knew well, knew a bit, and even complete strangers. We even got the quietest kids in class, Ivan and Honda, to give their own speeches. At the end she was in tears, thanking us all for the wonderful words and creations.

  Back at my house I gave her mine.

  "Close your eyes, [Y/N]."

  "Ugh, do I have to?"

  "Yeees.."

  "Fine." she covered her eyes and I rummaged around in the closet. I looked back just before pulling it out.

  "No peeking!"

 "I'm not!"

  I finished pulling it out of the closet. It was a box of chocolates with a small scrapbook of pictures of us. Some were when we went on field trips. Others were of us hanging out in the mall, parks, pools, ect. They even had us at Halloween and New Year's.

  "You can open your eyes now."

  She did. For the second time today she was absolutely astounded by my display of gratitude and care. I held the two out to her, watching as she skimmed through the booklet. Tears filled her eyes but only dripped down her cheeks when she read the last page:

  Dear [Y/N]
  I love you so, so much. If you died, so would my heart and I.
There is nothing more beautiful, no plant nor animal nor feeling
Than your smiling face. Stay with us, and please….
Would you do the honor of being my girlfriend?

  She looked up to me, unable to even form words. A quick nod before she leaped into my arms, pressing happy kisses to my cheeks.

  "You have no idea how much I love you, [Y/N]."

  "I love you too, Matthew."
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  No matter how bad days get,
  I always wake up to see your smiling face.
  You died two years ago, but I have not forgotten about you
  My wingless angel.

Love, Matthew.

{End of letter sitting on the grave of [Y/N] [M/N] [L/N]}